Unusual Artifacts

[forsaken1111]

Seems a bit morbid to craft your own coffin and name it after yourself. Maybe she knows she's not long for this world.

[Cheshire Cat]

i had an armoursmith just get posessed and make an iron shoe. i was so dissapointed. since it was possession he did not even get a skill increase. i long for the day i get an artifact breastplate or something.

also way back when i read the wiki pages on weapons and arficacts it more strongly implied that the artifact bonus was a large unknown percentage stuck on top of the existing material bonus. the exception being crossbows, which only get the material bonus in melee combat. im still very certain that this is how it works, but it was a surprise to find out that this is not actually known.

the point that since only champions can wield artifacts and thus its near impossible to figure out how good artifact weapons are is totally valid and i had not considered it before. in the past ive forgotten to switch champions back to steel or adamantium weapons from the silver sparring ones, and for champions at least it really makes no difference; they still rip things to pieces.

traps may be a valid way of figuring out the artifact weapon question. ive had artifact glass giant weapons do significantly better then their non artifact counterparts. although enough quality trap parts will still mince everything just as good.

[Slashcko]

Time paradox!

[2xMachina]

[Grendus]

In a fortress a while ago I got a turtle bone buckler. My current fortress just got a turtle bone helm. I bet next week I'll get a turtle bone suit of platemail, then turtle bone greaves, turtle bone gauntlets, and turtle bone high boots. It's like armok is trying to arm my dwarves with turtle bone. Damnit, and all this time I was foolishly using iron and steel.

The best was I had two artifact statues with the same decorations made out of gold and silver. I put them in my dining hall. It was badass. And all of my engravers decided to keep making designs of cheese instead of the statues, damnit.

[smjjames]

Time paradox!

It's not uncommon for artifacts to have an image of itself on it.

[Shima]

More than once I've gotten turtle shell cages.

[NFossil]

I'm sure I had a chain made of a raw gem in a previous fort.

[KenboCalrissian]

I have a salmon bone warhammer.  How big are the salmon in these parts, anyway?!

I also have some wolf leather leggings... seems normal enough, but its name is "Drillrighteous the Triangle of Fondling."  It menaces with spikes of hydra leather and goblin bone.  Sounds kinky!

[Lord Dakoth]

I also have some wolf leather leggings... seems normal enough, but its name is "Drillrighteous the Triangle of Fondling."  It menaces with spikes of hydra leather and goblin bone.  Sounds kinky!

We all know the spikes go inwards. 

I once had a turtle bone bed called "The Altar of Whores" or something like that.

More recently, I got a Native Platinum millstone. 'Twas quite bizarre. That's what I get for building lots of mason's workshops everywhere.

The Slaughter of Wetting

[Neruz]

I also have some wolf leather leggings... seems normal enough, but its name is "Drillrighteous the Triangle of Fondling."  It menaces with spikes of hydra leather and goblin bone.  Sounds kinky!

We all know the spikes go inwards. 

I once had a turtle bone bed called "The Altar of Whores" or something like that.

More recently, I got a Native Platinum millstone. 'Twas quite bizarre. That's what I get for building lots of mason's workshops everywhere.

The Slaughter of Wetting

Stick it in somone's room that you like and make them deleriously happy.

[shadowclasper]

I once got a bauxite bed called the Alter of Pain or something... It had spikes made of 3 different kinds of stone and two kinds of bone, was encrusted with gems, and I think it had an image of my previous mayor (who went insane and had to be struck down) being struck down by the guy who would be elected NEXT mayor. This was started just before the election and finished after it.

[Neruz]

I had an Engraver who was engraving pictures of my Mayor being surrounded by, rats i think (a vermin he hated) and being terrified of the vermin all over the fortress. Every second engraving was one of these.

Then he got secretive and created a Gold Bed with no less than five decorations of the Mayor being terrorised by vermin in different gems, as well as the usual assortment of spikes and rings. I don't remember exactly what it was called, but it was something along the lines of "The Fear of Teeth" and was wholly appropriate.

I stuck it in the Mayors room.

[Sabre_Justice]

I had an Engraver who was engraving pictures of my Mayor being surrounded by, rats i think (a vermin he hated) and being terrified of the vermin all over the fortress. Every second engraving was one of these.

Then he got secretive and created a Gold Bed with no less than five decorations of the Mayor being terrorised by vermin in different gems, as well as the usual assortment of spikes and rings. I don't remember exactly what it was called, but it was something along the lines of "The Fear of Teeth" and was wholly appropriate.

I stuck it in the Mayors room.

"Can't sleep... rats will eat me..."

My turtle shell animal trap turns out to work incredibly well. Now I'm building an entire zoo of fire snakes.

While not precisely unusual, my fort's first artifact is called Babinlisid Mingtuthlalilid, "Friendlyclashes the Contingent South-Ruler". It's a goat leather robe. I really want my Dungeon Master to wear it somehow.

There's also a tin crossbow with an awesomely scary name, Championchews "The Mythical Basis". It has a picture of elves prostrating before a dwarf on it. 

[kurokikaze]

I have turtle shell gauntlet created by some kid. And a streak of two toys - toy anvil and ,i think, hammer, made after one another.